i thought i was so smart
by ohmytheon
Summary: Roy has faced monsters, Truth, and so many life or death situations, but now he must face something else just as frightening: watching his one year-old sick son for the first time on his own for a night. What's a father that can't be a father supposed to do?


**Author's Notes:** Okay, so this got…ridiculously long. I don't even know how. But as some know, I created this post-canon universe where Roy and Riza had a son together in the future, but they're trying to keep it on the down-low so that Roy doesn't get in trouble with the higher ups and whatnot. I need to go and organize all of them. But for references, it serves as a prequel to Drabble 81 ("Footsteps") of my 100 Royai Drabbles, "you pull me through time". I've written a lot more with him, but this one kind of reflects that one. Enjoy! (Also, who can guess what the title is from? I've got issues.)

 **Disclaimer:** Nope, not mine. I came up with the OC, but that's it.

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 **i thought i was so smart**

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This was quite possibly the most difficult assignment that Roy had ever been given in his life. He had shipped off to war, traveled the country in search of alchemists to enlist in the State Alchemist program, dealt with the terse subterfuge that came with politics, fought actual monsters, and even faced Truth itself. And while there had been times when he had been afraid, even downright shaken to his core, he had always known in the back of his mind that he could handle it.

Tonight, on the other hand, was a different story. Tonight was the first night ever that his son was left entirely alone in Roy's care. And he was absolutely terrified that something might go wrong.

The moment he had found out that Riza was pregnant, Roy had tried to read every book that he could get his hands on about parenthood. He'd read books on pregnancy, childbirth, childhood development, and everything in between. He'd asked Gracia every question that he could think of. Hell, he had even called up Dr. Knox a few times, the old man grumbling that if it wasn't a life or death situation, Roy didn't need to call him at two in the morning. Well, as far as Roy was concerned, it had been that important.

Because of their precarious situation though, Roy had been forced to keep his concerns quiet. How they had managed to keep this under wraps for so long was still beyond him, especially when every other dig from the other Generals seemed to be about his adjutant's child. There was no one willing to turn evidence on them, and so nothing happened.

And for the most part, Roy was forced to keep his distance, which wounded him even further. As much as he wanted to spend every night with them, he couldn't. Their sneaking around became ten times harder. The fact was that they had to live as if Riza was a single mother, faced with a life of raising her son alone. She was his world while Roy was forced to skirt around on the fringes like the moon.

However, when Roy had received a call thirty minutes ago, his heart had leaped into his chest. What could Riza be calling him for at this time? Was it something with Aidan? Was he okay? Was she? He was already pulling on his shirt when she told him that nothing was wrong – and then asked him if he could watch her son.

 _"Rebecca called me panicking. She thinks she's having labor pains, but it's too early for Ally to be born and you know that Havoc is on a field assignment right now and can't be contacted."_ Riza had sighed, sounding both tired and stressed. She didn't sound like that often. _"I don't know if I could handle Aidan and Rebecca right now."_

Roy had of course jumped on the opportunity to help out in any way that he could. By the time Riza showed up at his place, Roy had done what he could to quickly baby proof his place. To keep up appearances, Riza had never brought Aidan to Roy's apartment before and so Roy hadn't done much to change it. Surely a one year-old baby couldn't get into a lot in one night, but Roy had read enough horror stories to keep himself up multiple nights.

A sleeping Aidan nuzzled against her chest in a baby carrier and a bag of things slung over her shoulder, Riza stepped inside. She looked tired, like she hadn't been sleeping much either, but still beautiful as ever. A small smile appeared on her face when Roy kissed her on the cheek and took the bag from her. "Thank you for this."

"Not a problem," Roy told her earnestly, "although I could have come over and watched him at your place."

"It was easier this way," Riza said as she carefully began to extricate their son from the carrier. It looked a lot like trying to defuse a bomb to Roy. "I have to pick up Rebecca and it's a straight shot to her place and the hospital from here."

Very gently, Roy took his sleeping son from her and cradled him against his chest. It still sent a jolt of thrill up his spine whenever he held Aidan. The little Bug was so tiny compared to them and yet already he was starting to show the signs of looking like Roy. "Call me if anything happens. If it turns out to be an emergency, I'll make the call to have Havoc pulled out of the field."

Riza nodded her head, already starting for the door. She stopped and turned around to point at the bag. "Aidan's still been a little fussy. Marcoh says that he's almost over his cold, but just in case, I packed the medicine – and some toys. The–"

"The tiger is his favorite, I know." Roy grinned at her. Riza visibly relaxed. Just because he couldn't appear to be Aidan's father on the outside did not mean that he didn't try to be the best father he could be on the inside. She never forgot that, but she was as diligent in being a mother as she was a soldier. "Now, go help Catalina. I've got this covered. It's only for one night."

Saying the words and actually following through was one thing. At first, things seemed fine. Aidan was sound asleep. Having made a small, safe space for his son to sleep using blankets and pillows on top of his bed, Roy laid the boy down. He briefly considered lying on the couch before coming to the conclusion that there was no way in hell he'd be able to fall asleep in a different room than his son. Or maybe not even fall asleep, truth be told. That was probably why Riza was tired.

Roy set up shop in the corner of his bedroom with a pile of alchemy books. It was like being an apprentice all over again. Having gone through the Gate, his mind had been opened up to all sorts of alchemy. As long as he knew the transmutations in his mind, he could perform them with a simple clap of his hands. After coming to that realization, he'd started to learn other alchemy so that he could broaden his range. It was fun, trying, and kept his mind busy, effectively keeping him awake. Occasionally his eyes would wander  
over to the bed, but Aidan was still asleep.

The phone ringing from the other room distracted Roy. He'd placed it in there just in case so it wouldn't wake up Aidan. Upon answering it, he immediately asked, "How is she?"

"She's okay," Riza said, the relief palpable in her voice. "She's not going into premature labor or anything, but the doctor wants to keep her overnight." Roy nodded his head, even though she couldn't see him. Havoc was going to have a fit when he found out what happened while he was gone. "How is Aidan?"

"Still snug as a bug," Roy responded. "We'll be fine. You stay with her. She shouldn't be alone. I'll keep an eye on him."

"Try to get some rest," Riza told him. "You should sleep while he's asleep."

"Don't worry; I will," Roy lied. How could he possibly sleep at a time like this? He'd come to the crushing realization that this was the first time he and his son were alone together. There was no one else with them, no Riza, no one on the team, not the Elrics, not the Fuhrer. It was just father and son. He wasn't about to squander that time. Also, he was just afraid that with the way he slept, he might not wake up when Aidan did, and the boy had started to take his first steps. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Riza surely must have known that he was lying to her and yet she bid him goodnight with only a slightly suspicious tone and didn't push the subject. About five seconds after he hung up though, his ears picked up a few noises coming from the bedroom. Slight sounds of discomfort and someone moving in the bed.

Aidan was awake and the real test would begin.

Racing into the bedroom, Roy reached the side just in time to keep Aidan from rolling off the side of the bed. His heart leaped into his throat as he got hands on his son. How had the boy managed to push through all the blankets and pillows he'd set up to ensure that wouldn't happen?

"Mom?" Aidan asked as he blearily rubbed at his eyes. His hands were still chubby like a baby's, but he'd begun to say his first words a few weeks ago. As expected, his first word had been "mom". Roy feared that it would be quite some time before he learned to say to say "dad," as they just didn't talk about it much. Children typically picked up the words that they heard spoken around them.

"Sorry, Bug, I'm not Mom." Roy hesitated for a moment before adding, "Just Dad."

Maybe Aidan knew the word and maybe he didn't, but he hadn't said it yet. It both bothered Roy and made him feel a shameful streak of relief. They couldn't have Aidan calling Roy "dad" in public. It had been easier and less confusing for the child to just not bring up the subject as much as possible. But Roy so desperately wanted to be his father and he thought that saying a word the boy was a little familiar with might keep him from getting upset. He was so very attached to Riza.

When Aidan dropped his hands and locked eyes with him, Roy held his breath. His eyes were just as dark as Roy's, but still somehow already as reserved as Riza's. How could a child so young know how to do that? One years-old, and Roy felt like he was being stared down by a master. He knew that Aidan could have asked for anything in this moment and Roy would have done whatever he could to get it for him. Was this how others had felt when they realized he'd manipulated them into doing something that he wanted them to do?

Taking a big sniff, Aidan's bottom lip began to tremble. "Mom?"

Oh, shit. Roy knew that look. Aidan blessedly didn't cry very much, but this was bound to have upset him. Tears sprung to his eyes as he started to let out a tiny wail. Here he was, in an unfamiliar place with a man that he did not know very well, just getting over a cold, and is mother was gone. Roy hoped that Aidan didn't think his mother had abandoned him, but it would be near impossible to properly explain what was going on to a baby.

Roy, as expected, began to panic, crouching down at the side of the bed and doing his best to sooth his son. "Mom is coming back soon. She had to go take care of Aunt Becca because Aunt Becca is sick, like you. But she's coming back." Shit, there was no way that Aidan was going to be able to understand that. He was one. Maybe in a year, he would have, but he was still very much a baby that probably just wanted to be held by his mom while having the sniffles. "Do you…? Are you hungry? Do you want milk?"

"Mom!" Aidan only began to cry further, sitting in the middle of the bed. An idea occurred to Roy. He sprang to his feet, rushing out of the room to snatch the stuffed toy out of the bag by the door and then back inside. He set the toy next to a crying Aidan – who promptly smacked the toy to the side and cried out, "No!"

That had Roy teetering nervously. To make matters worse, Roy could tell that in the middle of his crying, Aidan was also sniffing, his nose running, and he kept trying to rub at his eyes. All the signs of a fussy baby that still felt a little sick. Riza had said that he might need some more medicine.

After running his fingers through his hair, Roy steeled himself. "Come on then." He reached down and plucked his son from the bed, holding him safely against his broad chest. Aidan didn't fight him, the urge to be held probably still ingrained in him despite the fact that it wasn't Riza holding him. He almost always stopped crying when she took him from anyone, but he didn't do it for Roy. He wasn't comfortable enough yet.

That…hurt more than Roy thought it would.

Walking back into the living room, Roy grabbed the bag and moved to set it on the kitchen table. He dug around in the bag until he found a small baggy with the medicine inside along with some tissues. It probably tasted like crap. For good measure, he always got a small tub of ice cream out of the freezer. Double chocolate, already Aidan's favorite.

"I'm sorry your mom isn't here right now," Roy sighed as he sat Aidan down on the couch. "And that you're not feeling well. You've gotta take your medicine though, Bug."

Aidan shook his head. "No!"

Kneeling down at the couch, Roy carefully dabbed Aidan's nose with the tissues to clean him up. Then, using a small syringe, he was able to get the baby to take his medicine, which made him sputter. He took a deep breath to begin crying again when Roy produced a spoonful of ice cream. Probably not the best thing to give a baby at night, but…damnit, Roy could not help but spoil the kid when he could.

Also, it did convince Aidan to stop crying. He sniffled a few more times before blinking at the sight before him and tentatively taking the spoon. Sticking it in his mouth, he sucked on the ice cream. His watery eyes slowly began to dry and he continued to merely suck the dessert off the spoon as Roy dried the tears from his red, puffy cheeks. After placing the ice cream back in the freezer, he returned to the living room and sat down on the couch, but he didn't move to grab Aidan.

At first, the boy seemed happy enough to eat the ice cream and keep to himself, but slowly his attention drifted over the man sitting quietly next to him. The two of them observed one another, Aidan over the spoon with impossibly perceptive eyes and Roy with a carefully guarded one. And then, with one hand still holding the spoon in his mouth, he reached out with his other one to Roy, making a grabby motion.

Roy stopped breathing for a second. He knew that motion. It was the same one he made to Riza whenever he wanted to be picked up by her. Aidan didn't need to know how to speak for Roy to understand him: _I want to be held._ His boy wanted _him_.

Very carefully, as if afraid that Aidan would change his mind at the last second, Roy picked up the baby and moved so that Aidan was in his lap. He wiggled on the couch until his legs were on it as well and he was able to lean back against a pillow resting against the arm, situating Aidan until the boy was lying against his chest. Despite the fact that the ice cream was gone, Aidan held onto the spoon like it was a toy as he nuzzled into Roy's shirt and gave a big yawn.

"You a sleepy Bug?" Roy whispered with a faint smile on his face. He wished more than anything in the world that Aidan would call him "dad," but he knew that it wouldn't happen. He just didn't know it yet and he was too young to figure it out on his own. Still, moments ago when they had been staring at one another, it had almost looked to Roy like Aidan was realizing that the two of them looked alike.

Just when Roy thought the boy might be drifting off, Aidan mumbled, "Story." His eyelids bounced back up and down, but Roy recognized it for stubbornness. He may have been tired, but he didn't want to go to sleep, at least not until he got a story.

Roy chuckled, the sound rumbling deep in his chest and bouncing Aidan a little, though it didn't seem to bother him. "Okay, one story and then sleep." Maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to get the hang of this father thing. All he needed was a little more practice and time – so much more time with his son.


End file.
